Jen16226

Yes…..I did it.  I did not order nachos, I did not have a hot dog, I did not have any soda.  I did, however opt of a soft pretzel and stuck with water.  That was a victory for me.  Any of you parents that have kids in sports knows what I mean about the concession stands being your link for food all season.  For me my seasons run together…….4 playing baseball/softball…..3 playing football 1 playing fall softball…..3 playing basketball.  The food is alllllll around you.  So this was my first test since my recommitment and I passed….a proud moment for me.

I have another test today.  My neighbors invited me and the kids to dinner tonight.  Every couple of weeks, we all get together for dinner and when this neighbor cooks…..he cooks amazing things.  It will be interesting.  I will bring a healthy choice over there for a side dish (just not sure what yet) and I will eat a large salad before I go over to help curb me a bit. 

As for exercise…..still on restriction due to the knee, but I have been doing my living room.  Spackling and priming and today i am on to painting.  Trust me, I feel it in my arms. 

OK…I have been doing very well all week and now here we are at the weekend.  Unfortunately for me, I do not have a ton of options here on the weekend, in particularly on Saturday’s when I am at the football field for 8 hours.

My plan of attack for the day…..make sure I do not leave this house hungry, drink a ton of water.  We have 3 of 4 games where we have kids playing, so during that game where I do not have a child playing we will leave and go get something to eat nearby…..I WILL opt for a salad of some sort.  While at the field: I will not eat nachos.  I will not eat a hot dog.  I will not eat a snickers bar or 2.  I will also smuggle in an apple just in case I start to get hungry. 

That is my plan for the day.  I need to be firm and know that I have been doing soooooooo good all week and just stick to it!

Soooo part of why this recommitment to myself is going so great this week is because my husband is working.  He travels all fall and all spring working at power plants all over the place.  He is gone for 3-4 weeks at a time, home for a couple of days and then back out he goes. 

He is a bit mad at me right now over something I said to him, but feel he is taking it the wrong way.  I had said to him in a conversation before he left that in a way I was glad he was hitting the road because now I can do what I need to do without a distraction.  He took great offense to that.

Kevin will tell me “I think you are beautiful no matter what you weigh”.  He will also insist on certain things being cooked…totally meat and potatoes.  If I made something healthy, yes he would try it, but then in the next breath tell me he does not like it.  When he is home, I feel we need to make up for time not spent together, so any exercise goes out the window.  In addition, he unconsiously sabotages me…..sweets brought home, constant get togethers with beer and tons of food.  I realize that it is up to me as to what is put into my mouth.  But when you are struggling, that is VERY hard to do, I do not care who you are.  If you didnt start peddling, it’s easier to fall off.

So with him gone right now, I feel it is easiest for me to start peddling….get into good habits again…see some results that will motivate me. 

I don’t know what else to say…..I guess it’s just the lack of communication that we are having right now just has me upset and I would rather blog these feelings than eat.

They say you have to thread the good days together.  One foot in front the the other.  One day at a time, one minute at a time if needed.  Well that is what this week has been.  I am doing it.  I am planning again.  I actually am enthuased (sp?) by what I am doing. 

As I had predicted, it would be easier for me to kick start myself once my husband went on the road to start working again.  It has been.  Mr. Meat and Potatoes has been gone since Sunday and I am able to get back into  routine again and just do it.

Monday I will find out the results of my MRI on my knees.  One way or the other I want to figure out what my next step has to be.  Once again, I need to plan.  If it’s surgery, man am I going to need help bigtime!  Thank god my parents just retired and would be able to do it since Kevin is not here.

My food is already planned for the day.  For breakfast I am having a Crustless Chile Quiche that I made last night.  It is fantastic.  For lunch I am having a garden salad and some fruit.  For dinner I already have planned a chicken burritto.   In my previous weight watchers life, the plan I did enjoy most was exchanges, so this swap to TOPS where they do exchanges is nice for me.  From all that I have looked at, with the minimal info I have received from TOPS(which I had to download myself because nothing was given to me at the meeting) I feel strongly that my using my old WW cookbooks with the exchanges is the same.  At any rate……I am planning again and measuring and weighing again.  And getting all that water in again.  This is all good.

It truly was a good day.  I think I am going to like doing exchanges.  Like I said, it is sooo much like the old WW selections.  The only thing that I noticed (and I am not sure if it because I do not have all of the material yet) is on the journal, there is not space for any type of optional calories.  So what I did last night was added in some calories.  The old selection plan or freedom plan called for using 250 additional calories if you wanted to.  I think back in the day I used to bank the whole weeks so I could go to the bar on Saturday night! LOL  I know that plan truly worked for me and even better……I enjoyed it!

I did not get any type of exercise in……instead I started moving stuff out of my living room in prepartion for priming the walls.  I know my arms are going to get quite the workout here in the next day of so.  Later I am going to fill some small cracks and take any type of hardware out of the walls.  Fun huh?  

I am having a good day.  I feel so in control of myself today!  And not that “fake it till you make it” type thing either like I had been doing. 

I made good choices, even though I do not have all of the materials from TOPS, I took the time to look it up on the website or try to find it elsewhere.  I also drank a ton of water like I should be doing too.

Additionally, I logged on here a few times today to help!

Yeah, I know.  I put day 1 as the title, but meanwhile I have been putzing around for awhile with any kind of weight loss.

Soooo last week I joined TOPS and the leader wasn’t there and the meeting was non existent.  I kept an open mind and went back last night.  Again the leader was not there.  I guess they do not get subs when they are out like WW does?!?!  Once again, it was not a meeting…….a weigh in, who was up who was down and 5 minutes later out the door.  I realllllly hope that is not how the meeting is when the leader is  there too.   There is a meeting on Thursday nights at the same church, but I can’t do Thursday night right now with football practice still going on.  Anyway, with the hubby gone on the road, I have the right mindframe….lord knows last week with him about to leave I was not.  So since, once again, I was not given any materials I took it upon myself to go onto their website and look for info.  I found their exchange cards, some info (but not very detailed), and their food journal…which I think is very nice.  BTW….I did ask at the meeting if anyone could give me info on exchanges and NOBODY there does exchanges…they just do their own thing.  so after printing that stuff…since I am a WW member from way back and keep alot of stuff…..I grabbed some older cookbooks from the “selections” era….they are almost exactly the same.  So for this week for dinner, I am making things out of those cookbooks so I have the exchanges right in front of me. 

Hopefully the leader will be there next week and have materials for me.  I can’t remember how to figure some of the exchanges/selections so I need a refresher.  If not, then I will somehow go to the Thursday meeting even if it is just to ask for materials and a little bit of help.

On another note….exercise is non existent.  Right now I am waiting to go back to the Ortho for my MRI results.  My knees are shot.  I will find out at that appointment if I need surgery or not.  OK….so on that note…my abs and arms are not connected to my legs.  Therefore..I am going to get a tape out tonight..probably Tamilee Webb since there isn’t anything jarring to the knees (on the firm part of the arm workouts include doing pushups). 

AND more helpful…..I have to get back in the habit of posting on here more often!

You know how you have to hit that rock bottom before you get your ass in gear to fix things?  I am officially there.  I dont know why, but I am.

I am have come to the decision that no matter how hard I try to do this on my own, it is not going to work.  Yes I love using this site and the forum as a tool, but I need something face to face.  So tonight, I am joining TOPS.  I do not have alot of choices of where to go (ie WW or tops) as I live in the middle of nowhere.   It would take me over 1/2 hour to get to a WW meeting and on top of that, sorry but I worked there when I was at goal.  Honestly, I am tired of counting points.  I have done it since it started with 123 success.  Supposedly, TOPS does exchanges…..I liked exchanges with WW.  Soooooooo here starts the journey once again.

On the exercise front….since I hurt my knee 2 weeks ago, I m still hurting from it.  I was supposed to have and Ortho appt on Thursday and he cancelled, so I go this afternoon.  I have a feeling it is a sprain, but with the knee I am not taking a chance.  Even when I walk up or down the stairs at home, it hurts.  Soooo I have a feeling even if I wanted to, any kind of step aerobics is out for a while.  I have to figure out what to do in that department.

I have got to get with the program here……any program at this point.

I am struggling big time.  Between my internet being down at home, hurting my knee (ortho tomorrow) and the hubby starting to hit the road working, I am having a hard time.

I decided that I can no longer do WW at home……I can not do it alone…..I need to step on a scale in front of someone for that accountability.  However, for a couple of reasons, going to WW meetings here is not going to happen.  I did, however, find TOPS here on a night I can get there, and a friend wants to go with me.  Soooooo there is my answer.  Monday I am going to go there and join.  I read up on them….they do the exchanges just like WW used to do before points.  THAT is how long I have been off and on the WW wagon…..I remember the exchanges.  I was VERY successful with that losing 90 pounds after my daughter was born and I still have cookbooks with exchanges.  I am gung ho on it. 

In the meantime….I will drink my water and be mindful of my food intake……and come on here everyday now that I have internet again.