Jen16226

I caved in with everything going on around here and the good habits went right out the window.

If it were one or maybe 2 things at once, I know I could have handled it better….however that was not the case and of course now I feel like crap about it.  Fighting with the hubby, issues going on with stepkids house, issues going on with my ex, and then of course lots of problems at work.  It has really taken a huge toll on me the past 1 1/2 weeks.  Also add in my going to a meeting that is just soooo unsupportive. 

My only good thing is that football has ended so I am going to try another meeting of TOPS to see if it is any better.  Anything has to be better than the one I am going to now.

Physical Therapy is still going along.  I am hoping this upcoming week I will be able to do some exercises.  I am not asking to do The Firm…..but I have got to start doing something and the PT won’t let me yet as he says my knee is not stabilized enough…..well how is it going to get stabilized!?!?!  LOL 

Anyway….I have to try and stay on track…..all the home front issues are about to come to a head by the end of the weekend, so I am sure that will be ugly.  On that note though, I am so sick to my stomach about it eating, let alone eating right, is just not happening.

So I had my WI last night and was down 3 pounds again.  I am thrilled with it.  The past week I have been eating on the run since I had been remodeling the living room.  Stuff from in there was all through my dining room and kitchen.  I made awesome choices though and it showed on the scale the past 2 weeks in a row. 

That meeting is still non existent though.  I felt comfortable enough though that last night I did bring up a couple of things such as asking how one person is losing her weight and I brought up the subject of candy and halloween.  Next week I will try to get that going a little more.  I just am in shock that the leader does no topic or anything still!!!  Oh well.  I will keep plugging along.

So the living room…..I did everything….spackled, sanded, taped, primed, painted, ripped up the carpeting and all under that…..and there was a gorgeous layer of tar paper underneath!!!  Around here years ago, they would put tar paper down as a barrier on the floor.  Well it left a great residue that was a PITA to try and get off the floor.  I have no clue what we are going to do about the floor.  I thought I still had a week before the hubby was home but he called last night to tell me he will be home either today or tomorrow…..which threw me into red alert in cleaning! LOL  I thought I could take my time….but noooo.  I had to start busting ass last night in that department and will continue that tonight.  UGH.  So much for relaxing a bit.

Ohhhh last night was a VERY stressful one. 

Let’s see, my son had football practice at 5:30, daughter softball game in another town at the same time….so my parents were coming over to take my son.  Well he could not find his girdle.  I tore that house apart having to hear crying child the whole time…..grates on the nerves!  Finally I started calling anyone I could think of to see if they had one…no dice.  Now mind you, I am in the middle of renovating my living room too, so everything is a mess….not organized caos like I am used to…just a mess.  So now my parents are over and they are trying to help me look…I am EMBARASSED!!!  It was such a mess.  With my doing the living room I will admit, every other chore is to the wayside.  So now I leave and take my son to the football field to see if I can’t find a girdle…his coach says he will take care of it.  Oh yeah…during that time since I figured I would have to deal with football equipment guy, I call a friend to pick up daughter since they are going to the field too.  So now I leave son at field, my parents go there, I run to other town for softball.  Because it was a tie, they decided to play the extra innings.  So now I have my parents and son waiting at the house for me….they ordered pizza….sitting on the pack porch because there is noplace to sit in the house that is not covered in dust from my sanding!  By the time I leave the field I am feeling stressed to the max and all I could think about was how good something chocolate would taste right now.  BUT I DID NOT STOP!  Straight home I went.  Then I was thinking how good some greasy pizza would taste……NO.  Instead I opted for some leftover pork loin and some broccoli.

Oh yeah….in the middle of all that caos, my hubby calls me.  He is on the road working 12 hour night shifts for another  1 1/2  weeks and has been gone almost 2 weeks.  I get to hear from him on how I should have let him do the living room and that I should never have pulled up the carpet, what was I thinking, yadda yadda yadda.  I remained calm, which was unbelievable and I told him that I wanted to do this project.  I did not want to wait for him to do it.  He is gone 7 months out of the year.  I did not add that anytime I do have something for him to do, it does not get done or he only does it halfway and then he has to leave for the road.

OK…..so I did not eat over the stress. Today should be another ball of fun…..no school for the kids, so drop them at the Y, physical therapy, work, pick up kids, get them packed to go to my parents overnight, parent teacher conference, drop son at football practice, 2 more parent teacher conferences, run the kids to my parents, then back home.  I am tired just reading this! LOL

I had a few of them yesterday and I got through it.  I truly feel I am on right track again when I can resist temptation.

We had all sorts of halloween candy on the main desk at work yesterday……I stayed in my office and away from it!  Then we had a kid doing door to door sales of candy bars for a fund raiser….I bought the kids each one and did not make sure they were ones that I liked and I did not go after any of my kids bars!  My neighbor brought over leftover cake from a party the other day…..I did not have any.

I am proud of myself!  Even under the stress of finishing the painting of my living room and then starting to rip up my carpet in there only to find the wood flooring is in not great condition….I was upset, but did not eat over it.

I can do this.  I am motivated again.  I can do this.

Well my second WI at TOPS went well……down 3 pounds!  I will definately take it.  As for the meeting this week, it was non-existent again.  I was thinking this was the norm until I asked what the meetings were supposed to be like on the Yahoo group I joined.  Sure enough what I thought it should be like, is it.  It seems this meeting is just blah.  Right now this is the most convenient meeting for me to attend because of the kids activities, so next week I am going to try and shake some things up……bring topics up, share a recipe, etc.  We will see if that can breath some life into things….although I doubt it and there are only 7 people that stay for the meetings.

I had a pretty stressful day yesterday…..Dr’s appt went well though.  No surgery for now, just physical therapy for the next 6 weeks to see how my knees respond.

Then while I was in the Dr’s office, I found out my kids school was on lockdown due to a bank robbery a few blocks away.  I have never had that happen, so it was kind of scary.  They didn’t catch the people that did it, which does nto surprise me.  We live in a little town, lots of woods and only 1 cop on duty.  Heck we don’t even have a traffic light in town!  As long as nobody was hurt, that is all that matters.

Oh well, I have to get ready for work.