Jen16226

Yesterday at PT my therapist decided to up what I have been doing with my knee.  So I biked 10 mins, did 30 leg presses at 20 lbs, did 30 squats on the total gym, did vectors and then the lovely dreadmill for 5 mins.  Holy heck I was out of breath and sweating my butt off!!!  This just proves how much I have let myself go in the past 2 years and I am not a happy camper this morning thinking about it…..more mad than anything really.  Plus the fact that I really can not do anything about it right now with the knee being as it is!!  GRRRRRRR!  Usually this type of anger would transform itself into motivation for me to get off my ass and do something!  I will think on it today though and figure out something to do.  I have to put it all together…..when I am working out, that makes me feel soooooo much better about my “diet” and myself.  Ahhhhhh as I typed this I already have an idea…….put that YMCA membership to use!  Later I will look and see what water aerobic classes they have…..no strain on the knee so they can’t yell at me for doing stuff! hehehe  always more than one way to skin a cat!

and guess what?  I didn’t eat it!

There is no school today due to inservice, so the kids went to my parents last night and there I was, all alone with nobody to guard the candy.  Surprisingly, it was not calling my name all night.  There was one point while I was watching CSI, however, that it did.  I got up off the couch and instead of grabbing that pillowcase, I grabbed my new stability ball and the guide for it and did that for about 20 minutes trying everything except the lunges (my PT already forewarned me not to even try it when I told him I bought the thing).  I do feel it this morning in my abs….that is nice.  I haven’t felt that in a while.

Food last night was very simple….no kids = no cooking.  I had 2 slices of pizza and that was it.  As for water yesterday I got down 100 ounces….I will do better today with that.

I was sitting around last night after my little 70’s era basketball player, hippie and Thing came in and came to a harsh realization.   As the kids dumped their candy, they started getting rid of what they didn’t like and of course they all know I love anything peanut butter so they started a Mommy pile.  I sat there looking and realized I did not want it……so when they were done with their sorting and creating the Mommy pile, I grabbed it all, got up and threw it out.

I have been in a realllllll funk for quite some time with my weight.  Things have not pulled together.  Where I think one area is going well, another area is lacking and I just have not been able to pull it all together.  My biggest issue has been with the lack of exercise……for the past few months.  I had hurt my knee over Labor Day weekend and have been doing PT almost ever since.  I am finally at a point where I can start to exercise.  I won’t be able to go back to doing my step aerobics the way I was doing it though.  My knees won’t be able to handle it any longer…..between arthiritis, shot cartiledge I just can’t risk it and do not want to do the surgery they are suggesting.  So instead of using that as an excuse to not do anything, I decided I need to change how I do things………I bought a stability ball and will learn how to use that.

As for food……I don’t know what to do here.  I tried going to TOPS and they did not have a supportive group.  I hated that meeting.  It is very hard for me to go to another meeting of any type because of the kids, so I have to do it with the support of friends and just being in a mindset.  Soooo that said, I am just going to eat healthy, not count anything..calories, points, etc.  Just try to do a balanced diet and thats it for now and see how that goes.

Also, I need to get on here and be a good buddy.  Others are struggling as badly as I am, others are being successful that can offer hope.

I have done this before and I want to do it again.