The unsupportive hubby.
I had posted on here previously about how unsupportive my husband is with any weight loss efforts. The current status is he knows i joined WW and knows I have been working out. I renewed my effort when he left on the 27th and am down over 10 pounds since. He has not asked once how it is going with WW or my workouts.
So last night while we were on the phone, it all got thrown onto the table. He is trying to quit smoking (yes another vice that I will eventually try to get rid of) and he asked how come I haven’t asked how he is doing with it since he started last week. I immediately asked him why….he said because he needs my support. So I told him “well how many times have I asked for your support so I can get this weight off and be healthy and i don’t get it from you? You haven’t asked once how my working out is going or how WW is going” He then said, “OK, how is WW going” So I told him I am down about 10 pounds since he went on the road. He was quiet for a moment, and then said “so I cause you to gain weight” And I told him that he is a big factor in my gain, yes. I told him how I have asked him for help with the kids so I can workout, it is hard to do it when there are 5 or more kids in the house, I have asked that food for me be grilled or baked and you continue to fry or make gravy meals, and i drink too many calories when you are home too. I also told him that from now on when he is home, I want his support. If he can not help keep the kids out of my area so I can workout, then i will leave and go to the Y to get my workout in or go for a bike ride. If he can not help with the food department in making something healthier for me, then we will be spending alot more money because I will cook something totally different for myself for dinner every night.
He said I seemed determined and he would be more supportive this time…when he comes off the road, he suggested we go to the Y together to play racquetball or use the workout equipment. He also said we will go on bikes rides now that I have a bike(that was my birthday present…I was the only one in the house that didn’t have one and the trail near my house is only paved to a certain point so i couldn’t always follow on my rollerblades). I am hoping that he means this. I am hoping that he will see how much it really means that he is supportive. My thought in starting this once he left for the road was to get a running start and be full steam ahead and have results that would keep me motivated so when I hit a bump in the road once he was home, I wouldn’t be derailed.
Anyway…I can hope he means what he says…sometimes that doesn’t always happen. But right now I am in control and loving it.
That said, I need to go and get changed so I can workout.
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I hope he follows through on his promise. Good luck.
You ARE in control. I’m glad that you guys talked about it - and it appears that he understands at least for now. I think working out together is a good idea so he doesn’t feel like you’re making a choice.
My ex husband told me once that women lose weight for 2 reasons - they met someone else, or they’re looking for someone else. I always thought that was idiotic, but I bring it up because perhaps some of that may be going through his head?
Good luck to you - and YOU stay in control of YOU. Remember we cannot control anybody else but ourselves (especially not kids… but that’s a WHOLE different story! haha)
I think talking was the best thing you could do. Get it out in the open so everyone knows exactly what the other is feeling.
I think working out together is wonderful!! My husband is my best friend and we love to walk together. I hope you and your husband find the fun in it!!!
Good for you. It can’t be something you try to do when everyone around you doesn’t care. Hopefully he will keep up his end.
BTW, how is he doing on quitting smoking?
Way to go Jen! I know how you feel. You have inspired me to blog.
Thanks for the comments guys……
Yeah, Kevin and I are best of friends too…but when we spend time together it is usually as a family or just chilling out because we have to run all over gods green earth for the kids activities(particularly in the summer when 4 of our 5 kids play baseball/softball).
I have to keep my feet planted firmly on this issue….we typically agree on everything else that goes on and i want this badly enough.
His quitting smoking is going good….he is down to less than 1/2 a pack. He can’t smoke at the plant so he is limited.
Jen, I am proud to hear that Kevin is trying really hard to quit smoking. I hope he is successful with that, and that you are too when you try. You really didn’t get the stinking thinking going on here. It really is something that has always bothered me I just never really thought about it the way you put it out there. Hmmm, strange how things work. And what you say it true. Thanks for the comment and have a great day.