Jen16226

Don’t get me wrong…..I love my fiance more than life itself and totally missed him while he was on the road all spring, but man when he comes home he screws me up completely!  Its been almost 2 weeks that he is home and I just can’t get back into a routine to save my life.  My routine was alway this:  Get home from work, change into workout clothes, get the kids off the bus, get them a snack and settle them to do homework, workout while they are doing their thing, cook dinner, hang out or go to childs ballgame.  With him home, he just throws a monkey wrench into it.  Yes part of it is that I don’t get to spend time with him but for maybe 10 days from January to May and I have missed him…..but the other part is just shear laziness.  I have got to get my butt in gear again. 

I already told him this morning that as soon as I get through the door I am working out so he needs to take the kids outside and play for an hour or whatever, but I need that time for me plain and simple and that if he does not see me working out that he has to yell at me. 

Food and water have been very good so far this week.  I went over in my calories yesterday though by 20. LOL  Considering I had a piece of leftover birthday cake at home that was good.  AND my biggest bravo of the day was we had a retirement party at work for one of the men I work with and they had this HUGE cake there and I did not have a piece knowing that I wanted a piece of cake at home.  I told myself I was not having 2 pieces of cake, only one so which one would it be.  HOORAY ME!

I am sure alot of you know this little trick…..if you eat more points than you should or more calories than you should..and you are journaling, you comveniently leave out anything that put you over the number you need and it doesn’t count! LOL  I have done that before.  Well last night even though I did not stay in my calorie range, I still journaled it anyway.

I am really trying hard to get back on track here….the past 2 weeks have just been very hard…too much drama.  I have brought a couple of new people on here with me from another board and they know me….there is ALWAYS drama…but the past couple of weeks have really been horrible.  I am really proud of my self though..truly I am.  A few years ago, I was going through a TON of things at once and that is when I said screw it, and a year later gained all my weight back.  At least this time I am fighting while dealing with issues.  Every day may not be a perfect day with food and exercise (which has been nil lately…someone join my exercise challenge with me to kick my butt into gear please) but this time I am at least fighting.

Yesterday was a good food day for me….definately.  I kept it at 1300 calories and got all the water in.  I did not workout though like I wanted.  I had sooo much running to do last night…..Blair had a game at 5:30, Garrett at 6:00, Jess practice at another field at 6:00, Dev game at 7:30.  The little one did AWESOME at his little TBall game….he hit the ball out to the fence last night!!!  I was sooooo excited!  Dev and his friend were working with him on batting over the weekend and I guess that helped. LOL  It helps to have older ones that play too!

So not alot of drama yesterday…..I did go to the courthouse and file for a hearing to get an increase in my child support.  That will get his attention…but probably not in a good way, which is why I also called the best child support/divorce lawyer in my county.  I have an appointment with her in 3 weeks.  I know as soon as we have that hearing and I don’t bow down to him and actually get what I need for once instead of feeling sorry for him, that he will take me to court for custody.  At this point, I am so mad about the whole thing, I truly don’t care.  How dare he put stuff into her head. UGH

Alright plan for today…..eat good again!  Drink my water! And I do not have any running tonight so I was planning to go to my old spinning class, but think I will opt instead to go downstairs and do the elliptical while I am doing laundry.  I haven’t done it in so long I will probably die on it!

I had the worst nights sleep in a long time.  I went to bed early with the intent of waking up early to workout…well that didn’t work.  I woke up twice with nightmares, then with a splitting headache, then Garrett woke up with a nightmare.  UGH.  I will have to shift my exercise to a rest day today and workout on Saturday.  I was trying to get it in early because Jess’ softball game was moved up and now I will literally have no time to do it today…we have to leave less than an hour after I get home from work. 

I did really good with food yesterday….I ate 1414 calories.  I have been aiming for between 1200-1500 per day.  I even had ice cream last night!  I haven’t had that in a while.  The Breyers FF double churn vanilla…..90 calories and 3 grams of fiber for a 1/2 C……very good.

So I realized yesterday that Kevin has been gone 5 months this season…and only home about 10 days during this time.  I can not wait for him to get home already.  I am truly truly missing him and as usual towards the end of a season, the communication is started to be yuck.  You run out of things to say and get sick of talking on the phone as your only form of communication. And me, I get mad when there is lack of communication.  There has to be a healthy dose of it to keep the relationship going for anyone, but even more so when your spouse (or future in my case) is on the road.  I think if I weren’t so self sufficient, it would be a problem…..and I honestly was not always that way.  It’s only the past few years that I gained that.  I think when you are a single parent with 2 kids depending on you for everything, plus I had my own house and had to do everything in it and around it that helps you.  That actually was something that Kevin admired about me when we first met….he came to my house and I was in the middle of remodeling my living room….stripping and smoothing the walls and all. LOL  So the other day I found a job in the paper for a power plant nearby and he has some of the experience they want…I told him and I was shocked that he applied online that same night.  I know how hard it was for him to do that….I just did it in December myself.  I left a very comfy job in an industry I had been in for 11 years making very good money.  But commuting 42 miles one way in horrible traffic everyday was horrible.  I was never able to do anything with the kids and when I did I was soooo tired and grumpy.  At least this for him is same industry, but would be leaving his company of 10 years.  Oh fingers crossed that the money is relative and he gets it. 

OK….so on tap for today….work (yuck because I am busy today) and Jess’ softball game.  For food….breakfast is oatmeal, lunch salad and a LC, dinner is taco’s per Jess’ request.  Snacks will be banana, apple and a 100 calorie pack.

OH yes!! It’s Friday!